Relationships have a nagging tendency of reflecting our fears, denials, desires, and habit patterns.
All relationships are “perfect” because they mirror ourselves and our relationship to life.
Which is also the problem with them.
Ever notice how some folks have the same sort of relationship with similar dysfunctional types over and over?
In my mind, the path to the ideal relationship is through confronting our denials, seeing clearly into ourselves, and freeing ourselves from self-defeating past habits and tendencies. Once we are clear in ourselves, we communicate honestly and clearly with those we are close to.
Suffering pain from broken relationships is a common agony. I’d like to offer a few practical tips for healing yourself.
1. Resist denial. Don’t rewrite the history of your relationship, rationalize, or pretend you’re not hurt. It is what it is.
2. Accept that you’re hurt. Resistance to our pain is a large share of the pain itself. Heartbreak can be a radical heart opening. You can know compassion for all who suffer when your own heart is broken. Just feel the love and pain together.
3. Be patient. Healing just takes time even if you are wise. When you intimately share energy with someone, you get used to their juices flowing through your system. When that gets disrupted, you have to learn to live on your own power alone again. In the beginning, that can feel empty and incomplete. In time, you naturally heal.
4. Don’t close yourself off. Pain can make people shut a part of themselves down to protect themselves from future pain. Take time to heal but don’t divide yourself or cut yourself off from life. That doesn’t mean some time alone wouldn’t be healthy. It’s the intent that counts. Nurture yourself.
5. When you open to relationship again, accept the potential for heartache in advance. This time, know yourself deeply, and avoid self-defeating, dysfunctional actions and relationships.
Best wishes for a new dawn.
Love and Light
Baba
